Musician, writer, artist, gardener, Jane-of-all-trades.

I keep astonishingly busy with a wide variety of things and this blog may seem random in consequence. Expect Mass Effect fanfic (including the ongoing saga of pilot-lovin' Rhi Shepard), thoughts on disability, politics, and a liberal helping of goats. Especially baby goats.

 

genginger:

msbarrows:

stealyourshiny:

nerfburger:

cerseiously:

moonykins:

hulklinging:

huffpostbooks:

What’s Your Book Shelfie Style?

This is so calming for me I wanna stare at this forever hnnnng.

I do mine by series, and some of them are stacked. I should photograph my shelves sometime - they’re purdy.

Why do they keep putting Deathly Hallowe before Half-Blood Prince? Even in the chronological.

Mine have no real order, I just grab something and put it back in in a different spot which may be in the begging of the shelf or in the back or somewhere in the middle. There is no rhyme or reason. 

Shiny likes them alphabetical though.

Alphabetical by author then chronological by publish date. :P get it right.

Back when they actually fit on bookshelves, I usually arranged my books by author, subdivided into series in series order, and one-offs in alphabetical order by title.

These days they live in photocopier paper boxes and are sorted by “whatever random selection of authors will fit in this box”.

Can I say how happy I am that “personal significance” is on this list? This is how I shelve (plus by genre), and everyone I’ve talked to thinks it’s bizarre. Especially because I went to library school. But you know what? This system is designed to work for one person: me. And it does. Perfectly.

Genre controls which bookshelf/shelving area. Series go together. Otherwise stuff I love the most (and am most likely to reach for again) get the most prominent placing. 

*high-fives GenGinger* 

I shelve by genre and personal significance, too! It’s actually more apparent in my music collection, which is sorted by perfectly sensible genres that make sense only to me, with the most personally significant genre first and the most significant members of each first within genre (or it is when it’s organized; I moved stuff awhile ago and haven’t put it back to rights). And I could put my finger right on anything, so obviously the system works.

Books have a little more variation than music, in large part because I have some pretty hardcovers that either need showing off or need a nice big space. There’s a lot of overlap between ‘personally significant’ and ‘willing to dump money on pretty hardcover’, but it’s not a 1:1 relationship by any means. 

…and I have paperback duplicates of a few things because sometimes you need a home-copy and a loaner-copy.

Rules: In a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just ones that have touched you. Tag ten friends, including me, so I’ll see your list. Make sure you let your friends know you’ve tagged them!

Not tagging anyone, but I do like this meme. :)

(And I’m so lazy I’m copying it from facebook)

  1. The River Why, David James Duncan.
  2. Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel, Virginia Lee Burton.
  3. Cherries and Cherry Pits, Vera B. Williams.
  4. The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien.
  5. The Jungle Book, Rudyard Kipling.
  6. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams.
  7. Bringing Nature Home, Douglas Talamy.
  8. Haroun and the Sea of Stories, Salman Rushdie.
  9. Tehanu, Ursula Le Guin.
  10. The Sharing Knife, Lois McMaster Bujold.

Some very different books on there for very different reasons. :D

A to Z Bookish Survey

talldecafcappuccino:

Put a letter in my ask for an answer!

A. Author You’ve Read The Most Books From
B. Best Sequel Ever
C. Currently Reading
D. Drink of Choice While Reading
E. E-Reader or Physical Books
F. Fictional Character You Would Have Dated In High School
G. Glad You Gave This Book A Chance
H. Hidden Gem Book
I. Important Moments of Your Reading Life
J. Just Finished
K. Kinds of Books You Won’t Read
L. Longest Book You’ve Read
M. Major Book Hangover Because Of
N. Number of Bookcases You Own
O. One Book That You Have Read Multiple Times
P. Preferred Place to Read
Q. Quote From A Book That Inspires You/Gives You Feels
R. Reading Regret
S. Series You Started and Need to Finish
T. Three Of Your All-Time Favorite Books
U. Unapologetic Fangirl For
W. Worst Bookish Habit
V. Very Excited For This Release More Than Any Other
X Marks The Spot (Start On Your Bookshelf And Count to the 27th
Y. Your Latest Book Purchase
Z. ZZZ-Snatcher (last book that kept you up WAY late)

Via The Perpetual Page-Turner

hyperbali:

pagerunner-j:

thingsamylikes:

powells:

mfleming615:

Everyone headin’ to Powell’s

Come one, come all…

I miss Powells. Too far too much of my money.

Mmm, Powell’s.
Taaaaaasty booooooooooooks.
(…metaphorically. do not actually eat the books.)

also known as where i can get lost for 5 hours
like literally lost, that place is huge
and the top floor is my paradise

As a youth, my ‘running away from home’ plan was to hitchhike to Powell’s and hire myself out as a native guide to lost souls like Hyperbali. I figured I’d do a good business finding the scattered members of large families, as well.
I was going to sleep in the rare book room.

hyperbali:

pagerunner-j:

thingsamylikes:

powells:

mfleming615:

Everyone headin’ to Powell’s

Come one, come all…

I miss Powells. Too far too much of my money.

Mmm, Powell’s.

Taaaaaasty booooooooooooks.

(…metaphorically. do not actually eat the books.)

also known as where i can get lost for 5 hours

like literally lost, that place is huge

and the top floor is my paradise

As a youth, my ‘running away from home’ plan was to hitchhike to Powell’s and hire myself out as a native guide to lost souls like Hyperbali. I figured I’d do a good business finding the scattered members of large families, as well.

I was going to sleep in the rare book room.

thegoddamazon:

egbuns:

OK SO I WNET TO MY THERAPISTS TODAY RIGHT YKNOW THERAPY AND SHIT

AND WHILE I WAS W AITING I FOUND THIS BOOK

image

AND IT WAS THE BEST MOME NT OF MY LIFE

IMAGE HEAVY UNDER CUT

Read More

This is the best thing ever.

I own this book.

(Source: aobunz)

faejilly:

lostabhorsen:

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD READ THE ABHORSEN CHRONICLES:
BADASS FEMALE PROTAGONISTS: from Sabriel the prefect of an all-girls school to Lirael a shy librarian both of whom turn into duty-bound zombie killing soldier priests who rescue princes and battle necromancers and fight against what is effectively a trapped god, you can keep your Hermione’s and Katniss Everdeen’s thanx (and can we just talk about how the girls in the school TOTALLY JUMP INTO HELP THE SOLDIERS AGAINST KERRIGOR DESPITE KNOWING THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE??)
INCREDIBLE WORLD BUILDING: set in two neighbouring kingdoms - one resembling 1930’s britain the other a medieval fantasy realm that’s fallen into anarchy  plagued by Death NOT TO MENTION the world-weary soldiers manning the wall who are sick of your necromantic bullshit
TALKING ANIMAL COMPANIONS: not as cheesy as you think, since one is a sarcastic cat spirit who is scary as fuck when his true form is revealed and the other a wizened grandmotherly-like dog who rips out undead throats
COOL MAGIC: though it’s complicated it isn’t once confusing and you can’t beat dual sword-and-bell wielding, bells that can land you into death modeled after the Egyptian afterlife
GREAT CHARACTERS AND DEVELOPMENT: all the characters are forced to carry a duty and some succeed whilst others don’t but that’s okay because being born into a society doesn’t necessarily mean you belong there
GOOD ROMANCE: it’s subtle and forged out of friendship and trust and doesn’t define any of the characters or control any of the events in the story
NEW BOOKS COMING SOON: including Clariel which is a prequel based on Chlorr of the Mask WHO WAS AN ABHORSEN WHO TURNED EVIL!! like how awesome does that sound give me all the downward spirals for female necromancers AND there’s apparently going to be a sequel to the series too!!
POSSIBLE FILM IN THE MAKING: which means if you wanna get on that fandom first get on it now
IT’S JUST REALLY GREAT?? despite it being marketed as a YA book it’s still riveting and mature enough for older audiences (I think I might appreciate it more now that I’m older tbh) just UNF

Sabriel is quite possibly one of the best books I have ever ever read.
And I have a read a damn lot of books in my life.

I didn’t realize there was a new one coming out; that’s marvelous!
I still need to find a hardcover copy of Sabriel that matches my others. The paperback just will not do. The books I love most must be in hardcover.

faejilly:

lostabhorsen:

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD READ THE ABHORSEN CHRONICLES:

  • BADASS FEMALE PROTAGONISTS: from Sabriel the prefect of an all-girls school to Lirael a shy librarian both of whom turn into duty-bound zombie killing soldier priests who rescue princes and battle necromancers and fight against what is effectively a trapped god, you can keep your Hermione’s and Katniss Everdeen’s thanx (and can we just talk about how the girls in the school TOTALLY JUMP INTO HELP THE SOLDIERS AGAINST KERRIGOR DESPITE KNOWING THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE??)
  • INCREDIBLE WORLD BUILDING: set in two neighbouring kingdoms - one resembling 1930’s britain the other a medieval fantasy realm that’s fallen into anarchy  plagued by Death NOT TO MENTION the world-weary soldiers manning the wall who are sick of your necromantic bullshit
  • TALKING ANIMAL COMPANIONS: not as cheesy as you think, since one is a sarcastic cat spirit who is scary as fuck when his true form is revealed and the other a wizened grandmotherly-like dog who rips out undead throats
  • COOL MAGIC: though it’s complicated it isn’t once confusing and you can’t beat dual sword-and-bell wielding, bells that can land you into death modeled after the Egyptian afterlife
  • GREAT CHARACTERS AND DEVELOPMENT: all the characters are forced to carry a duty and some succeed whilst others don’t but that’s okay because being born into a society doesn’t necessarily mean you belong there
  • GOOD ROMANCE: it’s subtle and forged out of friendship and trust and doesn’t define any of the characters or control any of the events in the story
  • NEW BOOKS COMING SOON: including Clariel which is a prequel based on Chlorr of the Mask WHO WAS AN ABHORSEN WHO TURNED EVIL!! like how awesome does that sound give me all the downward spirals for female necromancers AND there’s apparently going to be a sequel to the series too!!
  • POSSIBLE FILM IN THE MAKING: which means if you wanna get on that fandom first get on it now
  • IT’S JUST REALLY GREAT?? despite it being marketed as a YA book it’s still riveting and mature enough for older audiences (I think I might appreciate it more now that I’m older tbh) just UNF

Sabriel is quite possibly one of the best books I have ever ever read.

And I have a read a damn lot of books in my life.

I didn’t realize there was a new one coming out; that’s marvelous!

I still need to find a hardcover copy of Sabriel that matches my others. The paperback just will not do. The books I love most must be in hardcover.

Book recs: mists of youth version

Which nine books, stories, or series were important to you as a child (say 10 or under). Favorites, touchstones, things you can’t really imagine childhood without — the stories you assume everyone read?

1. Bread and Jam for Francis (Russel Hoban). Reading this as an adult in front of my father revealed things about the lengths to which parents to entertain themselves while reading the same story for the nth time)

2. Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel (Virginia Lee Burton). Four corners, neat and square!

3. Cherries and Cherry Pits (Vera B Williams). Eating cherries and spitting out the pits!

4. Various things with trains. This is a cop-out answer, but there are at least two of those little gold-spined cheapo picture books I wanted over and over and over, and they both involved trains — and my parents still invoke them both. The key lines being “Always stop for red flags waving” and “I’ve lost, I’ve lost, I’ve lost my red caboose!”

5. Winnie the Pooh (Milne). My grandfather read it to me when I was quite small, and for some reason the word ‘bother’ on the printed page and the word ‘bother’ spoken didn’t compute as the same thing, so he read Pooh as saying “Oh boe-ther,” which pronunciation has become a family joke ever since.

6. The Jungle Book (Rudyard Kipling). Bagheera was the fun one in the book; Disney totally swapped him and Balloo. Also my edition had information sidebars about all the animals and architecture and vocabulary, and it was awesome. I wanted to be a black panther when I grew up for years).

7. Haroun and the Sea of Stories (Salmon Rushdie). My parents totally told me I was going to be assassinated for reading Rushdie. After they gave me the book. When I was ten.

It’s one of the first books I read aloud to my boyfriend (neither of us has been assassinated).

8. The Just So Stories (Kipling again). I particularly loved the audio version of “How the Leopard Got His Spots”, but tonight dad pointed out that the audio version of “How the Elephant Got His Trunk” was read by Jack Nicholson

9. The Hobbit. The first book to scare the pants off me when I read it late at night.

BTW, it’s nine because it would make base-10 sense to do 10 but kids never want to eat the last of their vegetables so NYAAAAAH.

fenrislorsrai:

rainydaypaperback:

A garden wall made entirely of old out of date computer manuals that no one wants.   Not even the library sale wanted these!

I made a garden wall two years ago out of mangey (as in “had no covers and smelled funny”) mass market paperbacks on the other side of this same garden. It’s still there and has weathered out to look like old brickwork.

The computer manuals are even bigger and heavier, so worked more like using large pavers or cinder blocks to make a retaining wall. The old rusting grates are used as capstones for the whole thing so you can safely stand on it.

 When stacked this way, they actually work really well to hold water in the garden and then slowly release it back to the plants. Paper actually rots really slowly, so this is basically hugelkultur with wood that comes in a handy rectangular shape that’s easy to stack.

The dirt in this garden is also AWFUL because its next to a gas station and the plow usually dumps all the road sand and salt in it. so really, anything from the ink is nothing compared to the oil, sand, salt, and cigarette butts its normally subjected to.  The section with the two year old wall (not shown) is actually WAY better than this part since it now actually retains water.

Yes, they will lose their color after a few months.  I actually made milk paint white wash and used that on the other one.  It needs a coat once a year due to the sand and salt, but looks pretty well like white brickwork most of the time.

Yes, these really were books NO ON WANTED. look, how to get started on ebay… as of 2005. Yeah, no. these were headed to the dump otherwise.

This is actually what I did on my birthday this year, made a garden wall out of old Windows manuals. mwaahahahaha!

eponymous-rose:

rachel-maddow:

thebookmunkie:

cranks-spackles-freaks:

kastiakbc:

c-c-chuck:

pixelheroine:

phddiscworld:

I have to be honest.  When I first saw this, I thought it was some generic message thing that had to do with the quote alone.  However, it was brought to my attention that this is from a Borders store.  I have to say, this is the saddest thing I have seen all day, maybe even all week.

I’d like to personally thank the creators of the Kindle and Nook for this atrocity.

…I have no words.

:’c

And it makes me sad that one day there won’t be any hard copy books, just e-books, and probably our great-grandchildren -maybe even our grandchildren- will never know the feel of a book in their hands, the sound of a turning page, or the beautiful scent of a brand new book.

For people that aren’t in publishing, Borders did not close solely due to ebooks. They went bankrupt because they expanded too fast, made some very bad judgement calls, and then hired people to run their company who had zero book selling experience. I believe one of their last CFOs was from the mattress industry. 
Borders didn’t even begin as a bookstore. They started out as an inventory system, and then they built a store around their own inventory system. They were also incredibly late to the game in building an online presence for themselves. I’m not saying what happened to Borders isn’t incredibly sad, but physical books are not going anywhere. Just as the magazine industry has seen smaller print runs and shutterings, they still exist, just as physical books will continue to exist.

What BookMunkie said.
And on a different note, to those blaming eBooks and eReaders for the decline of the physical book, let’s talk about books for a minute. 
Books are a luxury item. They aren’t food, water, shelter, or air. You do not, in fact, need them to survive. Buying a book is like going to see a movie or having a nice dinner out. You don’t need to do it, but sometimes it’s necessary to take a break from real life and treat yourself. When a recession hits, sales of luxury items like books are going to be the first to decline. In 2008, when the bubble burst, the publishing industry was laying off employees in the thousands because no one could afford to buy our product anymore. They were too busy trying to pay the rent. 
And despite the fact that brick-and-mortar bookstores were closing, book publishers were still producing more books per year than they had in the past. Just in smaller numbers, smaller printing cycles, with smaller marketing budgets and author advances (if the author gets an advance at all—this is a really shitty time to try becoming an author unless you already have a recognizable name). The selection of books available never changed, just their location. You could get them online cheaper—and isn’t that what you want? a good book for cheap?—than you could in the store. You could get an eReader and buy the eBook online and have it instantaneously. You never even have to put on pants. 
The idea that people on the internet—especially Tumblr—could complain about an advancement in technology that allows you to access books without ever leaving your room is absolutely astonishing to me. You’re on Tumblr! Chances are you enjoy solitude and quiet more than a trip to the mall. eReaders not only made it easier for you to get the books you want quickly and without leaving the privacy of your home, but they’re also saving millions of trees. A physical book is a hunk of paper that you’ll read once and it will sit on your bookshelf and gather dust. An eBook takes up no space, has no ramifications on the environment, and in most cases is cheaper than the Trade Paperback. One would think that you’d consider all of these to be good things. If the publishing industry clung to physical books the way it has in the past, I can assure you that Borders will not be the only major bookstore closing. If you want to maintain a foothold in business, you have to evolve with the times. It took publishing a while, but we’re finally catching up with eReaders. The more time we spend creating quality eBooks that complement (not replace!) physical books, the more likely we are to stay in business and keep providing you the books you so desperately love, whatever the format.
I understand the draw of a new book. Cracking the spine for the first time, the New Book Smell, using that cool new bookmark you got. It’s an experience, to sit down with a book. And I promise these things are not going anywhere. But blaming the eReader for Borders closing is like blaming soy milk for the death of a dairy cow.
We’re just giving you access to the content in a different format. It’s like getting your news on your computer and a newspaper. eReaders are not the enemy. Please stop thinking that way.

Yes, thank you! Both of my parents are library directors less than a year from retirement, and they’ve two of the biggest ebook enthusiasts I know. That two sixty-somethings can be more supportive of this technology than most twenty-somethings I know… well, that’s a little confusing.
(I totally get the love of a fresh new book, or a musty old one, but I’ll never understand the vehemence with which people oppose a change to the medium that is getting more people reading. If you care more about the page than the words written on it, well, that’s pretty darn silly and pretentious.)

Yes, this!
I love books-as-objects — I have some fancy gift editions, and some cool old leather bound copies, and a single volume foil-embosed Lord of the Rings I spent a ridiculous amount of money on when I was 14 — but the important thing is the words on the page. The important thing is the story, the knowledge, the way it gets inside your brain. The object is just an object. I don’t think we lost anything by moving to bound books from the unwieldy scroll, or even from hand-lettered books to those produced by the printing press. The art of hand-lettering still exists, and more people — uncountably more — are able to access the ideas.
There are issues with eBooks, but they have nothing to do with the fundamental bookishness. DRM, the patchwork of eBook rights ownership, the way ebook lending programs at libraries are clearly an artificial scarcity, which pisses people off — those are all issues that have arisen with the changing market, and they can be pretty thorny. But the ebook itself, as a product, is just another way of getting the meat of a book — the words — into someone’s head.
Price was mentioned above, but price is only one barrier to entry. Have poor vision? You can enlarge the print of the ebook. Many of them will read it to you! The object itself is lighter — great for people with joint issues. The traveler is obviously far better off with ebooks — and by far better off, I mean ‘will read more.’ Kinda the point, don’t you think?

eponymous-rose:

rachel-maddow:

thebookmunkie:

cranks-spackles-freaks:

kastiakbc:

c-c-chuck:

pixelheroine:

phddiscworld:

I have to be honest.  When I first saw this, I thought it was some generic message thing that had to do with the quote alone.  However, it was brought to my attention that this is from a Borders store.  I have to say, this is the saddest thing I have seen all day, maybe even all week.

I’d like to personally thank the creators of the Kindle and Nook for this atrocity.

…I have no words.

:’c

And it makes me sad that one day there won’t be any hard copy books, just e-books, and probably our great-grandchildren -maybe even our grandchildren- will never know the feel of a book in their hands, the sound of a turning page, or the beautiful scent of a brand new book.

For people that aren’t in publishing, Borders did not close solely due to ebooks. They went bankrupt because they expanded too fast, made some very bad judgement calls, and then hired people to run their company who had zero book selling experience. I believe one of their last CFOs was from the mattress industry. 

Borders didn’t even begin as a bookstore. They started out as an inventory system, and then they built a store around their own inventory system. They were also incredibly late to the game in building an online presence for themselves. I’m not saying what happened to Borders isn’t incredibly sad, but physical books are not going anywhere. Just as the magazine industry has seen smaller print runs and shutterings, they still exist, just as physical books will continue to exist.

What BookMunkie said.

And on a different note, to those blaming eBooks and eReaders for the decline of the physical book, let’s talk about books for a minute. 

Books are a luxury item. They aren’t food, water, shelter, or air. You do not, in fact, need them to survive. Buying a book is like going to see a movie or having a nice dinner out. You don’t need to do it, but sometimes it’s necessary to take a break from real life and treat yourself. When a recession hits, sales of luxury items like books are going to be the first to decline. In 2008, when the bubble burst, the publishing industry was laying off employees in the thousands because no one could afford to buy our product anymore. They were too busy trying to pay the rent. 

And despite the fact that brick-and-mortar bookstores were closing, book publishers were still producing more books per year than they had in the past. Just in smaller numbers, smaller printing cycles, with smaller marketing budgets and author advances (if the author gets an advance at all—this is a really shitty time to try becoming an author unless you already have a recognizable name). The selection of books available never changed, just their location. You could get them online cheaper—and isn’t that what you want? a good book for cheap?—than you could in the store. You could get an eReader and buy the eBook online and have it instantaneously. You never even have to put on pants. 

The idea that people on the internet—especially Tumblr—could complain about an advancement in technology that allows you to access books without ever leaving your room is absolutely astonishing to me. You’re on Tumblr! Chances are you enjoy solitude and quiet more than a trip to the mall. eReaders not only made it easier for you to get the books you want quickly and without leaving the privacy of your home, but they’re also saving millions of trees. A physical book is a hunk of paper that you’ll read once and it will sit on your bookshelf and gather dust. An eBook takes up no space, has no ramifications on the environment, and in most cases is cheaper than the Trade Paperback. One would think that you’d consider all of these to be good things. If the publishing industry clung to physical books the way it has in the past, I can assure you that Borders will not be the only major bookstore closing. If you want to maintain a foothold in business, you have to evolve with the times. It took publishing a while, but we’re finally catching up with eReaders. The more time we spend creating quality eBooks that complement (not replace!) physical books, the more likely we are to stay in business and keep providing you the books you so desperately love, whatever the format.

I understand the draw of a new book. Cracking the spine for the first time, the New Book Smell, using that cool new bookmark you got. It’s an experience, to sit down with a book. And I promise these things are not going anywhere. But blaming the eReader for Borders closing is like blaming soy milk for the death of a dairy cow.

We’re just giving you access to the content in a different format. It’s like getting your news on your computer and a newspaper. eReaders are not the enemy. Please stop thinking that way.

Yes, thank you! Both of my parents are library directors less than a year from retirement, and they’ve two of the biggest ebook enthusiasts I know. That two sixty-somethings can be more supportive of this technology than most twenty-somethings I know… well, that’s a little confusing.

(I totally get the love of a fresh new book, or a musty old one, but I’ll never understand the vehemence with which people oppose a change to the medium that is getting more people reading. If you care more about the page than the words written on it, well, that’s pretty darn silly and pretentious.)

Yes, this!

I love books-as-objects — I have some fancy gift editions, and some cool old leather bound copies, and a single volume foil-embosed Lord of the Rings I spent a ridiculous amount of money on when I was 14 — but the important thing is the words on the page. The important thing is the story, the knowledge, the way it gets inside your brain. The object is just an object. I don’t think we lost anything by moving to bound books from the unwieldy scroll, or even from hand-lettered books to those produced by the printing press. The art of hand-lettering still exists, and more people — uncountably more — are able to access the ideas.

There are issues with eBooks, but they have nothing to do with the fundamental bookishness. DRM, the patchwork of eBook rights ownership, the way ebook lending programs at libraries are clearly an artificial scarcity, which pisses people off — those are all issues that have arisen with the changing market, and they can be pretty thorny. But the ebook itself, as a product, is just another way of getting the meat of a book — the words — into someone’s head.

Price was mentioned above, but price is only one barrier to entry. Have poor vision? You can enlarge the print of the ebook. Many of them will read it to you! The object itself is lighter — great for people with joint issues. The traveler is obviously far better off with ebooks — and by far better off, I mean ‘will read more.’ Kinda the point, don’t you think?

AbeBooks' Literary Oddities

I’m not sure whether to be pleased or disappointed that when I click on Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook I end up on the page for The Gay Mortician.